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Final Crisis: Rogue's Revenge Issue 1 of 3

Also to note, this series was written by Geoff Johns (my favorite writer) not Morrison. And honestly, it doesn't have that much to do with the bigger picture.

We open with lightning striking in Keystone City (home of The Flash) and Captain Cold narrating that the roads have fresh potholes, meaning A Flash is still running these streets. He then mentions that there's been a Flash doing that ever since they've been playing the game:

"Game used to be easy to play. Until we broke the rules. Until we killed a Flash. A 'Kid' Flash."

We cut down to the streets where Cold is walking along with fellow rogues Mirror Master, Weather Wizard and Heat Wave. Mirror Master wants Weather Wizard to stop the rain but Cold tells him they need it for cover. Weather Wizard then says the lightning isn't his at which point Heat Wave freaks out, wondering if it's Flash. They find the hidden entrance to Mirror Master's hideout and Mirror Master notes that they should accept Libra's offer to join the villain society and also brings up that he ran an "errand" with Dr. Light earlier. Cold tells him that Light is trash, and thinks something isn't right with Libra.

"When it all went down with 'Kid' Flash and we were the most wanted, everyone said fuck the Rogues. So fuck Libra, and fuck secret societies. We've been on the run for months with no help from any of em."

They enter the hideout to find a local gang had been moved in. The gang pulls guns on them but the Rogues easily trash them as Cold reminds everyone "leave em breathing". Neat. As they wonder how the gang found the place, the new Trickster (the one involved with Bart Allen's death died afterwards) busts in looking for his crew only to find some very pissed off Rogues. He gives them a speech about how everyone thought they were dead or locked up somewhere and then delightfully yells:

"But you're here, you escaped! I mean, damn, you did it all! You killed The Flash!"

As he busts out with a villain laugh, Captain Cold slams him into a wall. Trickster wonders why he isn't happy they won, so Cold shoots back that the game wasn't supposed to be won. And rule one of the game: never kill a speedster. See, these are the Rogues I remember. Assholes sure, but assholes with form of morals. The other Rogues lament about how Flash always had ran through their attacks and Trickster is shocked to realize the entire thing was an accident. Cold answers:

"The Rogues only wanted our share. Maybe a little more. That's what Inertia promised us. We'd already tangled with two Flashes, figured it was time to get out of the game when a third one showed up. But we got greedy. We got stupid."

Meanwhile a group of cops discuss Bart's death and the missing murderers as a rat watches them. Pied Piper narrates how he reformed after Barry's death (when Wally took over the Flash mantle) and how Wally had stood up for him. After Wally left, he was so worried Bart was in over his head, he didn't realize it was him who was in over his. As big unnamed white cop argues that the Rogues have always been out to kill Flash, unnamed black cop argues that it didn't make sense they had followed Inertia. Female cop chips in and we get short psychological profiles on our Rogues.

Mirror Master had unknowingly killed his father and couldn't stand living in reality after that.

Heat Wave had set his house on fire as a child. He told a psychiatrist later that he had wanted to help them, but he couldn't stop watching the flames.

Weather Wizard is delusional about his part in his brother's death.

And Captain Cold's father had been a disgraced cop who had beaten his two children for years.

The female cop theorizes that the Rogues had followed Inertia for a chance at early retirement but things went wrong. Black cop chips in, asking why Pied Piper had been there, he had been on the good guy's side for years. Cue booming voice:

"I wasn't trying to be."

Pied Piper busts in, knocks the cops over with his army of rats, and steals the will and files on the original Trickster. Elsewhere, lightning strikes as Iris Allen, Barry's widow, looks over their wedding pictures. Suddenly she hears a voice calling her name as lightning strikes again.

Cut to Libra giving a speech to his villain group about how the rock had been Earth's first murder weapon, and the world has been littered with weapons ever since. He begins quoting bible passages until Dr. Light cuts in with a message from Mirror Master saved in a shaving mirror:

"Have fun with the heat comin' your way for takin' out the Martian. It don't make you special, Libra. Sure you might doll it up with some evangelical edge and promise of spiritual enlightenment. Hell, we all need that. But we don't need it from you. The answer's no. We ain't joining up."

At the Flash Museum, a group of armed cops show up to move the Inertia "statue" to a cell in prison. The leader of the group comments that heroes are too soft, and Flash should have cut Inertia's legs off instead of leaving him in suspended animation in a public museum. Suddenly a voice shouts Inertia and lightning busts through the ceiling striking Inertia. The sprinklers cut on as the cops all realize Inertia is moving. The leader yells to use the taser but one comments that there's too much water...a costly hesitation. Inertia (suddenly with superspeed again) murders all the cops.

In a graveyard, Pied Piper goes over James' (the dead Trickster) files on the Rogues. Everything they were going to use to take them down. He then laments:

"Inertia approached us. He thought we were still Rogues in good standing. So we went undercover to stop them. We failed. But Wally won't believe me. No one will believe me."

A rat squeaks at him and he tells it that it's right. Bart Allen will never be replaced. ...As far as powers go, talking to rats is pretty weak. Back at Rogue HQ, the Rogues are watching a news report about how Inertia, leader of the Rogues, has escaped. Cold comments that Inertia wasn't their leader and as everyone turns to him:

"I'm not a murderer. I only do that when it's kill or be killed. ...Or when I'm after good old-fashioned vengeance. Payback. Revenge. I think before we quit the game, we're gonna break our number one rule one last time."

And finally, at the home of Wally West, Wally's wife is putting their twins to bed as Inertia is shown outside, planning to kill Wally's children. And suddenly the last player in this saga shows up and stops him....Zoom.

"Not tonight. You're running because of me. I can take that away. Just like you took a great hero trying to be better away from the world. After I'm through with you, you're going to be better too. You're going to be the new KID FLASH!"

Zoom holds up a battered Kid Flash uniform as lightning strikes one last time.

//Complicated

Staff Comments of Awesomeness

August 4, 2011 - 07:25 BST - Nate

It's time to end this somewhat hiatus and start writing video game reviews for no one again. Funny that after all of these months of college and unemployment I start wasting time with video games and shitty reviews once I finally get a job.

Also, maybe I'll start reviewing games that have been released within the past six months for once thanks to my new disposable (heavy emphasis on this word) income. Maybe.

June 12, 2010 - 15:30 GMT - Benny

I got an urge to collect crap for my chao in Sonic Adventure 2 Battle. I had quite a lot of fun until I realised that I already had a chao with 99 in all stats. That took a bit of the fun away but I have another 16 chao I can level up. But now I'm in a mood to play Zelda instead.

May 31, 2010 - 15:53 GMT - Benny

I'm quite glad I went through with this The Green Shell idea. Combined with Hair, I've managed to build up a little backlog of updates that could last me at least a week. Although I have a feeling I'll put out a few of them at a time, which means I'll run out sooner. But yeah, while it's not necessarily easy to come up with shitty ideas for it, I have been looking around at a lot of random video game stuff over the last 12 hours and it's quite fun. I also need to play some more Star Ocean; I've got reptile aliens to kill and annoying girls to ignore! My hatred for Welch has gone down a lot since I got Lymle into my party. That annoying fuck pisses me off, 'kay.


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Okay, so Finnish, but they sing in Swedish so it's alright.