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Updates:
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Updates:
Whenever
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Under 18?
Then leave. This
site contains foul
language and foul
fake-opinions from
foul people, and
people under 18 die
if they read those
words and/or opinions.
Also, if you're easily
offended, you do best
in leaving, as well.
It is all meant to be
for fun, but you are
still likely to be
offended.
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Page One
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"What are you we going to do tonight Wedge?"
"Same thing we do every night Vicks. Try to take over the world."
Actually they're just foot soldiers with a mind-controlled witch in tow. Apparently somebody found an esper in the town of Narshe. What's an esper? I just tuned out the narration so hell if I know, but these guys want it so that's where we go.
Of course it's not as simple as marching into Narshe and just taking the esper though. And what kind of game would this be if it was? A game where you do whatever you want with no fighting at all. Lame.
Hey aren't these guys supposed to be neutral? A group of soldiers are wandering your town in souped-up fighting machines so you just attack them??? How unAmerican is that? It's a fairly easy run through a snowy town and into the mines but oh hey, these guys have a secret weapon!
Oh hey this is Whelk. As is the case in most video games, the first boss you come across is the hardest thing you will ever face in the history of your life. He spits fire from his mouth and shoots lightning from his shell and also he's a ZOMBIE so he cannot be killed. ...No wait, I think I got that mixed up. He's actually just a giant snail. After dispatching of Whelk you walk through to the back and you see:
Oh hey that's an esper. It's a magical (oh hey you're about to start seeing the word 'magic' a lot) creature. With magical powers. Magic, magic, magic etc blah blah blah. The creature KEEEEEELLS the girl's teammates with it's magical glowing light. It's a lot like that old UPN special of the family that taped the aliens invading their butts home. Anyway, it shoots your girl with a beam of lightning. Magic lightning. And the game is over. Shit!
//Complicated
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Staff Comments of Awesomeness
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August 4, 2011 - 07:25 BST - Nate
It's time to end this somewhat hiatus and start writing video game reviews for no one again. Funny that after all of these months of college and unemployment I start wasting time with video games and shitty reviews once I finally get a job.
Also, maybe I'll start reviewing games that have been released within the past six months for once thanks to my new disposable (heavy emphasis on this word) income. Maybe.
June 12, 2010 - 15:30 GMT - Benny
I got an urge to collect crap for my chao in Sonic Adventure 2 Battle. I had quite a lot of fun until I realised that I already had a chao with 99 in all stats. That took a bit of the fun away but I have another 16 chao I can level up. But now I'm in a mood to play Zelda instead.May 31, 2010 - 15:53 GMT - Benny
I'm quite glad I went through with this The Green Shell idea. Combined with Hair, I've managed to build up a little backlog of updates that could last me at least a week. Although I have a feeling I'll put out a few of them at a time, which means I'll run out sooner. But yeah, while it's not necessarily easy to come up with shitty ideas for it, I have been looking around at a lot of random video game stuff over the last 12 hours and it's quite fun. I also need to play some more Star Ocean; I've got reptile aliens to kill and annoying girls to ignore! My hatred for Welch has gone down a lot since I got Lymle into my party. That annoying fuck pisses me off, 'kay.
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