Last week somethingawful.com had a nice Awful Link of the Day (WTF STEALIN FROM US!!!1). Some really ugly site for a "company" that wants to build you a site (or "curse you a site" or whatever they said, idiots) for 600 bucks or so.
Well, I decided to see who they were hosted by. A company called Net-Bizz or something.
And Christ . . .
Look at their services page. Under "Order."
a simple flash animation that I (And when it's something that I could make, it's something that anybody could make) could make if I wanted to spend an hour or two with flash for around 750 dollars.
Would you like a "Standard Logo?"
"Customizing a logo selected from the Logo, Button, and Background database."
Ok, so you get a single image created from their already-made designs? For $250!
The rest is basically the same thing, outrageous prices for "services" that anyone could do if they had the right tools (Cracked versions of flash and PS, etc) . . .
But here's what gets me the most, the section labeled "ePromotion" . . .
A banner designed with no moving elements.
360 . . .
Add 125 and you can get . . . brace yourselves . . . an ANIMATED banner!!
And they should work on their service/product descriptions, too . . .
Banner Impressions - (150K)
One hundred fifty thousand impressions of a client's banner. Requires purchase of a Standard or Animated Banner.
Well, I'd like to know what the fuck an "impression" is if I want to spend fuckinging 5850 dollars on it . . . Wouldn't you?
They also have some type of . . . something . . . that helps you create and manage email newsletters or something, FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF 800 DOLLARS!!
Sounds like a deal!
*Spends 3 million and gets a flash banner and his site (which is nothing more than a rollover button) submitted to 20 search engines*
I used to wonder why most of the shitty sites out there trying to get people to pay them for really bad jobs never have a "past work" or "portfolio" page on their site, but then I realized that it's because NOBODY'S EVER PAID THEM TO DO WORK.
What's even worse is that people probably have paid them.
But I'm happier believing my first thought.
There should be a way to shoot people . . . with guns! . . . on the internet.
And I just noticed the little pictures-image on the home page.
And it made me want to send them 5000 dollars for them to make me similar images for my eStore!!!!!!