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Also, if you're easily offended, you do best in leaving, as well. It is all meant to be for fun, but you are still likely to be offended.

More Staff Comments of Awesomeness

May 23, 2010 - 11:57 GMT - Benny

Hell yeah, I've found Constructor! *Purchases*

May 22, 2010 - 19:31 GMT - Benny

Stacey's got Little King's Story for the Wii. At first I thought she meant that Square Kingdom game for Virtual Console but this was something completely different. It somehow reminds me of a mix between Animal Crossing and Overlord, and it seems to be quite fun. She's basically some kid who magically became a king of some, possibly imaginary, world and she's got some slaves she's walking around with her to conquer new lands and kill bosses like the skullhead cow and big frog thing. Right now she's in some kind of purple, dusty field smashing stuff. And now there are fireworks. It looks a lot like a children's story book, but yeah, it seems to be fun and she's clearly enjoying it. It does mean the good TV is occupied, though, so I can't play Star Ocean unless I drag the XBox upstairs and plug it in on the SNES TV. Or I could play SNES. Or get dinner.

May 22, 2010 - 11:03 GMT - Benny

So apparently you can download Portal for free on Steam at the moment. Steam wants to be updated first, though, and keeps freezing at 26%. Seriously, why does this shit always happen with Steam? I haven't been able to update it a single time without it just constantly freezing and me having to restart the computer a seemingly random amount of times before it magically starts working. Ah well, I don't really care all that much for it, but I would like to play some Counter Strike.

I've also (also?) started playing Star Ocean: The Last Hope. The first impressions were:

  • The graphics are horribly inconsistent (hello, Mr. Wrinkly-Skinned Smoothhead, Sir, meet Perfectskin-Anime-Fag!), the lip synch is crap, and the non-combat animations are terrible.
  • Trying to get through the combat in the tutorial made me cry. It's atrocious.
  • The camera is complete fucking shit. It gets stuck everywhere and half the time you move from one scene to another or dare getting close to a wall, you end up inside of it.
  • Some of the overly Japanese characters (Welch, you fucking cunt) are insanely annoying and even when sitting alone in my living room I feel like I should be embarrassed.

So yeah, after having played the tutorial and gotten through the little intro sequence, I was very disappointed. However, it turned out it was mostly just the tutorial combat that was shit and against proper enemies I'm really enjoying it (except the little fight intros that plague all CRPGs). The game itself has a much better learning curve than the tutorial, which is a bit backwards, but ah well. The inconsistent graphical design and horrible non-combat animations are also a lot less noticeable when you're out in the real world with some very beautiful surroundings and less wrinkly people. The only things that really have remained truly shit are the camera and Welch.

January 22, 2010 - 19:44 GMT - Benny

Correction! There is something Windows 7 seems to do better than Vista that's actually noticeable on this computer, and that's Fraps. For some reason, when I used Fraps on Vista, things just go stupid. But it seems to be fine here. Although I am disappointed that filming in 1960x1220, or whatever it is, in Dalaran pushed me down from 49 FPS to 1-5 (those exact numbers change every time I tell anyone about this, by the way). But eh, it seems to flow fine at 35 FPS in non-crowded areas. I still need to give it a shot while killing stuff in a big old-continent city.

January 22, 2010 - 19:38 GMT - Benny

I just realised it's almost been a year since I made this new version of the awesomeness that is Klimp.dk. Seriously, I thought it might've been around July last year. That's weird.

Anyway, I just UPGRADED (everyone seems to love giving me shit for that) from Vista Home to Windows 7. The first day or so, I was really disappointed as it seemed to just be shit. Ugly (more so than Vista), programs were all choppy for a minute or so after having been started, and all these small things just pissed me off (such as my fan apparently thinking that my computer is going to explode when I use the mouse scroll while reading forums, while running around in WoW on 170 frames per second is perfectly fine). Not to mention the annoying task bar that keeps moving shit around and having to RIGHT-CLICK to open more instances of Notepad. Anyway, these things aside, I quite like it. I mean, I notice no difference compared to Vista, just that they made the taskbar more annoying. Well, I guess as my computer ages it might stay faster or something, but for now it already is FLASHFAST.

ANYWAY! That's not what I meant to say. What I meant to say is that for the first time ever I might be considering to change from IE. It's not because of what any person has told me, but because of what IE itself has said. Whenever I look at Klimp.dk, the tab is coloured in some horrible shade of green and I never knew why. Then I saw this little broken document icon by the address bar and clicked it. Apparently I have designed Klimp.dk to work with an older browser. Fuck you, IE! I'll have you know Klimp.dk is state-of-the-art HTML+ASP bastard child of Notepad technology and apparently far too advanced for you! Bitch.

September 17, 2009 - 22:32 BST - Benny

Oh dear god no! The Main link in the CLotW sub menu linked to Comp's Crypt! But don't worry, I fixed it.

August 30, 2009 - 09:38 BST - Benny

So I was watching 100 Greatest Stand-Ups yesterday. Now, this was a list of the best stand-ups ever, as voted by the stupid fucking British people, so of course there will be things that massively piss me off about it. But! Let me start by saying that overall, I was surprisingly pleased with the list, even though it should have been named 100 Greatest English Speaking Stand-Ups of all time. These people, however, seem to think that a country that doesn't speak English can't possibly know the meaning of entertainment and live in daughter-selling poverty and maggot-infested-knee-cap misery and their non-English DNA simply lack the aspect of "having fun." Throughout the few-hour long episode, only one single person (out of a bunch of "professionals" they interviewed and had commenting on the comedians) as much mentioned the fact that this is not necessarily a list of the world's greatest stand-ups ever. My respect for Ross Noble has gone up by another few pins (although looking at his web site put it back down a few).

Anyway, let's start with the things I was pleased with. I was happy to see Chris Rock around the top of the list. I was assuming he'd be too American for the Brits to vote for him, but I was wrong. I was also very willing to accept the list's number 1, Billy Connolly. I may not be a big fan of him myself, but I can definitely see why he deserves that spot. Seeing Ross Noble at rank 10 was also something that made me happy. He explains himself pretty well, "just a bloke dicking about," but he does it in a masterful way and he is funny as fuck doing it. No, he's not a genius (a word that's loosely thrown around about artists of any kind) and he may never really break it into a world-wide fame like some of the others in the list, but damn, the guy is still hilarious. Hilarious.

Now onto the things that are just fucking stupid with the list. Peter Kay at number fucking two?! Second greatest stand-up of all fucking times? Fuck off. It's of course my own opinion that only a few of his sketches have been amusing, and most are just the same filth over and over, and that his stand-ups are average at best, but he's sure as hell not the second best stand-up of all time. Unlike some of my positive notes, this was something I did expect from a British vote.

And Harry Hill at 5th? Now this is not just my own opinion, but a motherfucking statistical fact: The guy has a 1-in-a-100 good jokes, and the rest are just annoying and boring as fuck. Please note that HARRY HILL is on the list, but Brian Regan and Jim Gaffigan are not. No, wait, let me rephrase that: Harry Hill is 5th on the list but Brian Regan and Jim Gaffigan aren't even fucking nominated! That's right, not even if you had wanted to would you have been able to vote for either of them. That just shows how bullshit this fucking thing is. "Who else speaks English? Americans. We can understand them. Do they have any comedians?" "I think Jay Leno and Jerry Seinfeld might be." "Throw them on the list, that'll show we're not a bunch of narrowminded fucks."

And the biggest fucking disappointment of them all. We browse through the top 10. . .

10 - Ross Noble
9 - Chris Rock
8 - Victoria Wood (a female comedian?! Get off the list!)
7 - Bill Bailey
6 - Bill Hicks
5 - Harry Hill
4 - Richard Pryor
3 - Eddie Izzard
2 - Peter Kay (meh)
1 - Billy Connolly

Hmm. Something is not right there. There is something missing. Someone whose name starts with a G and ends in Eorge Carlin. Scan the list. . .and there he is! 62nd! I don't even have to comment on how stupid that is.

August 24, 2009 - 19:23 BST - Benny

Today's update is NOTHING, because of Jon. "Who the fuck is Jon and why is he ruining my life by denying me my sweet, sweet Klimp updates?!" Jon is an unemployed bum who claims himself to be an artist, video game designer, and passionate hater of everything that is good. He is also the person in charge of the next Hair episode.

So yeah, Jon has the challenge of a life-time ahead of him. Not only does he have to live up to the expectations people have out of a Hair episode when it comes to graphical quality, but he's also got a massively high standard of writing to meet. It's the first time a self-proclaimed professional artist has dared taking on this daunting task since Marshall covered for me back in 2003. We can only wish you good luck, Jon. Let's hope you make it out alive.

August 22, 2009 - 10:57 BST - Benny

Nancy lent me the first two seasons of 1987 Turtles (not the new crap!) a week or so ago, which has kept me entertained for two evenings so far. I don't care what other people (mostly females, I have to point out!) say, it's still fucking awesome! Even though they somehow smash through steel with wooden sticks.

Anyway, watching Turtles and talking about Turtles toys at work has made me want to breathe new life into the still born Teenage Mutant Klimp Turtles site. I obviously won't, since I don't have my toys or comics over here in Britfagland, but it would be fun.

August 21, 2009 - 07:47 BST - Benny

Okay, so it's now been three months and one day since I updated. I need to put an end to the dry streak (especially since I promised Jon I'd have an update for him this weekend and then he needs to draw one of the Hair episodes for me), and I figured I'd start with a STAFF COMMENT OF AWESOMENESS!

I've very recently got a new computer (sup 60 fps in dalaran lolz), but it has Vista and I wasn't sure if it would run the one program I need in order to update the site. But apparently it does, so that's a step in the right direction (or left, as it would be here in Fagland).

And because I know you're dying of curiosity, where have I been the last three months?! I've been sitting right here. I'm up to 87,100 something kills now, but it's slowed down a lot over the last few weeks. Arena has pretty much gone to hell. We've crashed since 3.2 and I haven't done any 3v3 or 5v5 in weeks. What I have done is getting into some PvE, though. Northrend heroics are fucking easy as shit, however, so I'm suspecting I'll be bored of it in not too long. Currently we're just 4-manning the 5-man dungeons, and not even then do we have to be careful. We're still pulling two, sometimes three, groups at a time, and we're doing perfectly fine anyway. It's quite sad. Achievements are quite fun, though, and I did breach 5,000 DPS the other day which was nice.

Anyway, now I need to check out how many people are still visiting the site. Exciting!

May 20, 2009 - 20:26 GMT - Benny

I've been having fun with Fraps and made a little WoW skirmish video together with my brother. I command you to watch it. There are some messy CC moments with shadowfuries and death coils on stunned targets, but eh, it's alright (and it has great music, which is a good enough reason to watch it). I would talk about something else, but the news are on too loudly so I can't think. Damn TV.

May 19, 2009 - 7:56 GMT - Benny

I was sick for eleven fucking days, and I still don't feel entirely well. That's stupid. If someone told me I'd be off work for ten days, I'd most likely be thrilled and play video games and stuff constantly and have a lot of fun doing so. The past week and a half, however, have been boring as fuck. It's like I've felt guilty whenever I've been playing video games, because I've been sick and it's my duty to have a horrible time, or some work god would come up from work hell and punish me. So proper video gaming has been kept fairly low, and the amount of Las Vegas Solitaire I've played has been depressingly high. The highest I ever got was 250 something, and I usually ended up around -300 before I quit.

Anyway, speaking of video games. Marshall has convinced me to get Okami. I need another game I can get completely stuck in and play non-stop until I've beaten it, and apparently Okami is a good candidate for that. However, there is also the matter of fitting it into my ever-so-hectic schedule. Ultimately, I'd get it at a point where I have nothing else to do. Otherwise I'll end up with a lot of things I want to do (and more importantly, actually would do), and I'll end up just doing one of the things and the rest get neglected. Then when I finally get time to do it all, it's been too long and I've gotten bored of the idea.

At the moment, arena in Warcraft keeps be fairly busy and entertained. Or, that's kind of a lie. It keeps me entertained, but not very busy. However, can I afford going away to the couch and play video games instead of sitting by the computer, waiting for opportunities to have fun in the arena? As far as Okami goes, that is basically the deciding factor. My brother is going away for a few days later this week, so that would be a good opportunity to get it. But eh...yeah, I don't know.

May 10, 2009 - 10:52 GMT - Benny

I'm sick. I've been sick since fucking Wednesday, and it's not really getting any better. I haven't been sick for this long since I had mono a few years ago, and it's getting a bit annoying. I could go on and make a variety of swine flu jokes, but I choose not to.

And that's the whining out of the way. Exciting news, people! After having changed the index page on Friday, I got into a scripty mood and decided to do something I've thought about doing for years now--a text based browser game. When I've been thinking about it in the past, it's always been some kind of semi-multiplayer Khelataar game, but eh. . .I know shit about databases, and I'm not even going to bother to learn how to use them, so I'm making something a bit simpler instead. But yeah, this has kept me somewhat occupied since Friday. If it was for the whole DYING FROM ILLNESS thing, it would probably be done now, but yeah, I've also spent quite a lot of time shivering on the couch. I hope to have it ready either tonight or throughout the week, though. You're probably not going to like it, but the important thing is that I've had fun scripting it, so fuck off.

May 8, 2009 - 18:01 GMT - Nate

Hello Sweden/United States! Here's my first staff comment, been lazy/busy at the same time. Anyway, I'm going to help promote the site by posting Klimp.dk fliers all around my campus, in buildings, on dorms, on posts, even children.

Anyway, it's finals week and I won't put much effort into this post, but I just want to get notice that I'll continue with writing for this lovely place around May 13th, after my finals are over with. I'll also pick up with writing on my other blog, Triple Thrill.

eliminatrixxx.blogspot.com

Sure I don't have awesome WoW stuff like Benny, but I'll try and remain at least sub-par.

Like Benny said in his comment, check out the Save Klimp campaign, hell, even be a part of it and submit pictures of your advertising or if you're feeling nuts, take a video.

May 5, 2009 - 19:39 GMT - Benny

Well, I've got over 1,700 rating now. Nothing to cheer about really, but considering my brother still has a fair share of level 78 gear left, I'm still quite pleased. The next goal is 1,850, 'cause I'm sick and tired of my PvE weapons. And that is the reason why you haven't seen any updates here, sucker.

Anyway! Nich is being lovely enough to put together a little "Save Klimp" campaign. Not that it needs saving, considering its massive fan base of six! But yeah, anyway, stroll on over and give him some fucking amazing ideas. You have negative 13 hours to do so.

April 26, 2009 - 20:53 GMT - Benny

Stacey and I just watched Disaster Movie, and actually paid for it. I wish I had bothered going to IMDB first. It's fucking shit. The only mildly amusing bits of the entire movie was chipmunk death metal and glass eating. The other hour and twenty-five minutes were humourless filth.

On a more positive note, we got Wii Fit about a week ago! It has mainly taught me two things about myself:

1. I am awesome at hula hoops.
2. There is no fucking way in hell I can touch my toes while standing up. (Without bending my knees.)

It's actually quite a lot of fun. For some reason I really enjoy the running, especially two players. Stacey is pretty much doing it on a daily basis, except on the weekends, since I'm at home to watch her. I've only done it for two days now, coming in at an impressive Wii age of 36. Stacey's down to 20. Pfft.

April 22, 2009 - 07:30 GMT - Benny

That's how long it took! Eh. . .I can't be bothered to look it up, but today's update was the first real update in three weeks, or 20 days. 10 of those days I can blame on Sweden, where I sat without my FTP details because I cleverly wrote them down on a piece of paper and left them under a book on a couch in a different country. So yeah, I was stuck playing video games for 10 days, which could've been some kind of weird and twisted torture if I wasn't such a nerd.

But what about the last nine days? Why haven't I updated? Because even though I only have three hours of spare time each day, I have some crazy illusions about being able to play three MMOs at once. Yeah, I just added Lord of the Rings Online to the line-up. I played it on the American servers a while back, but now I'm on the European ones. And I'm also a dwarf. Raldin Beardface.

But yeah, I am enjoying it. It's nice to have an MMO I can play without any goals in mind. Most of my time spent in the game is spent walking around. You know, RP-walking.

Then there is of course WoW, where I spend most of my time burning things to cinder. Things tend to be members of the dirty Alliance. They recently did quite a few changes to my beloved destruction spec, which means that it's now getting somewhat popular. I used to be fairly alone in doing PvP with a deep destruction build, but not anymore. Anyway, I won't complain, because I fucking love Conflagrate now.

(Click to make them larger, fucker. From last night. We had good healers in the team.)

Arena season 6 starts today. Last season I started out with my brother's paladin, which went fairly well. Then I played together with his mage, which went to hell. Now he's gotten his rogue up to 80, which is the character I played with on 70. I was hoping to do some serious slaughtering as a destruction-rogue combo, but now he's getting bored of the game again, so we'll see.

Anyway, the third game is of course RuneScape. I'm falling massively behind here. My Slayer schedule said I should've had 99 in September, 2008. I am currently 230,000 XP (or something along those lines) away from 98. I need to speed up, but I'm currently just getting in one or two hours per day, which clearly isn't enough.

This doesn't even begin to talk about the various Wii/Virtual Console games I need to play, so you can probably guess how much time I have left over, which should explain why the site has suffered a bit recently. Ah well, I can hopefully get back into a nice site updating rhythm.

April 13, 2009 - 19:58 GMT - Benny

Another ugh. I'm back to England and I have a headache. Now I have to make some dinner.

April 3, 2009 - 21:51 GMT - Benny

Ugh. I have to get up at 6-7 tomorrow to catch a plane to Sweden. I'll be gone for a week. My brother might still have my FTP on his old computer, in which case I can still do updates. If not, I'm screwed. Anyway, in case nothing happens here, you know why. Yeah.

April 1, 2009 - 21:36 GMT - Benny

Whenever I talk about Swedish punk being the best punk in the world, no one believes me. When I try to explain the concept of "trallpunk" to them, they simply don't believe me. "Punk is just a bunch of angry people screaming along to bad music." Pfft.

De Lyckliga Kompisarna
Charta 77
More Charta 77
Köttgrottorna
Dia Psalma
Mimikry

Damn straight. So fuck off, England.

March 31, 2009 - 18:57 GMT - Benny

Haha. The pigeons out front have apparently been busy having sex today. It's good to know how Stacey makes time go by while I'm at work. They were building a nest a few weeks ago but seem to have given up on that idea. Lazy, horny pigeons.

March 29, 2009 - 11:46 GMT - Benny

Alright, so yesterday I made that sexy list of games I need to play. I am proud to say that I have indulged in three of them since then. I spent roughly nine or ten hours fighting the corporeal beast in RuneScape, completely without luck. I made a few pathetic attempts at killing Magma Man, but failed horribly. And I also made a fair bit of progress in Metroid Prime 3. But I also realised that I need to add Neverwinter Nights 2 to that list. God damn it.

Also! Not only did Magma Man kick my ass several times (the stage itself is easy, but he's hard as fuck, because I suck) but some people also stole an hour of my life with this whole daylight savings time bullshit. Normally I don't mind that too much. However! I was certain that last time they moved the clocks around, I lost an hour, so for this time I had prepared myself to gain an extra hour of gaming. But no, they fucking moved it ahead again, so yet another hour is lost! And no, my memory is perfectly fine. "The people" now owe me two hours of XP or percentage progress.

Finally, being the confused person that I am, I changed the time standard for the site to BST, because I now have no fucking clue where GMT is. Probably three hours behind, due to the shift of time space sex.

Wait a second, that wasn't it. I also finished Ragnarök Volume 9 and 10 yesterday, only to find out that the lazy fucking morons who translate these things into English didn't translate the entire fucking series. Volume 10 was apparently released to us "westerners" in 2004, so I have no hopes of Volume 11 reaching me anytime soon. I guess I will never find out for sure what happens, but I feel fairly confident when I say that it most likely involves a lot of fighting and everything turning out well in the end.

March 28, 2009 - 10:44 GMT - Benny

I finally managed to get through Ragnarök - Volume 8 and read about a third of volume 9 last night. I'm glad to see it's already looking a lot better than 8. Sure, I hate how Skurai looks now, but eh. . .I can live with that.

It was my brother's birthday on Wednesday. Stacey and I couldn't really come up with anything to get him. She's all for annoying crap like flowers and such. You know, stuff you don't get any use out of! Personally, I wanted to get him tons of Vampire: The Eternal Struggle cards, but I was quickly silenced under threats of her throwing out all of my cards if I kept trying to force the game down his throat just so that I could get an excuse to play it with him. He does have a few thousand cards at least, but he always gets pissed off when playing and kind of hates the game because of that reason. I don't, though, and I want someone to play with.

Anyway, we ended up getting him MadWorld--an arcady and very gory Wii game I've been looking into getting myself. He seems to enjoy it and now I also want it. But I already have enough games to play, and I'm already failing to keep up:

1. RuneScape. This is the only one I'm keeping up with at the moment. At the moment, I'm fighting the corporeal beast on a daily basis, and need to put in a few hours per day to keep the LootShare points up. They made a slight change for the better as far as LootShare goes, so it's not so insanely fucking boring getting them up anymore.

2. World of Warcraft. I'm falling massively behind in this. I've only got three hateful and the deadly "non-set" pieces, except for the ring. Why not the ring? I was 8 points away and then Blizzard comes in and fucks over the arena system. I'm now getting roughly 2-4 points for a win and I lose 18-20 points for a loss. In other words, even if I win more than I lose, I am still losing rating at an insanely rapid rate. I only play the game for PvP, and now that that's been completely ass raped I have absolutely no reason to log on anymore, except for grinding through the last 30,000-some kills for the "of the Horde" achievement (100,000 honorable kills).

3. The Godfather: Blackhand Edition. I have not yet completed everything there is to complete in this game. There isn't much to go, but I haven't played in several weeks now.

4. Metroid Prime 3: Corruption. I'm only three or four hours into the game so far, and I really need to get further. It's a damn good game, but I haven't managed to get "hooked" in it yet. That obviously needs to change, but I don't have the time.

5. The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. I'm at the point where you get back to the temple for the second time, but I couldn't manage to find a switch in one of the rooms and kind of gave up. I hear that I have to do this temple over and over, which doesn't sound too exciting. Everything outside of that temple, I love, but it's an obstacle. I really hope this won't turn into a Majora's Mask where a single temple stops me from playing the game entirely.

6. Final Fantasy VII. I still haven't completed this damned game. I've played up until Red XIII's home town like 87 times, but then I always stop when you have to aimlessly drive around without any good idea on what the hell you're doing.

7. Virtual Console Games. This list is just long. I need to play them all!

And how much time do I actually have? After work, dinner, and all of that crap, I have roughly 3.5 hours per night to dedicate to video games, and then most of the weekends. To some people that may be enough, but not to me. And I also need time to update the site and draw more Hair episodes. Meh.

March 26, 2009 - 18:43 GMT - Benny

Shut up! I'm updating all the time! Actually, I've been busy killing the corporeal beast, crawling up the LootShare ladder in hopes of wealth and fame. And that's obviously more important than you. But don't worry, loyal visitor, I'll have time again over the weekend and I'll make sure to get enough done to keep going through most, if not all, of next week.

March 23, 2009 - 20:08 GMT - Benny

I need more Eternal Struggle cards and I need people to play with. Non-annoying people, so going to some random CCG place and play with strangers is out of the question. I don't have any cards from the Twilight Rebellion or Keepers of Tradition expansions yet. God damn UK and its lack of John and Fredrik and the ability of forcing them into playing with me.

March 21, 2009 - 08:32 GMT - Benny

Wow, that was weird, huh?! The time space continuum came across a glitch and completely skipped Friday. No, it wasn't that I fell asleep on the couch and forgot to update the site, it was the far more likely scenario of time simply fucking up which is the explanation for why the site wasn't updated yesterday.

I will try to patch up God's mistakes by putting up at least two updates today, but Super Punch-Out!! was just released for the Virtual Console, so I am making no promises.

March 18, 2009 - 21:09 GMT - Benny

I recently started reading through Ragnarök again. Last time I did so the series was still under production. I got up to volume 6, but while waiting for volume 7 to be released, I moved to start University and lost touch with the guy I was borrowing them from. Anyway, about a month ago (on my birthday), I decided to get the entire series from 2 to 10 (I already had the first volume) and I've slowly been reading them since. Well, when I sit down and read, I tend to finish a volume in one go. Hell, they're mangas--it's not like they contain a lot of words.

Anyway, volume 1 to 7 are really good. They have a few of those mood breaking, annoying moments where they go all fucking "Jap humoury" with the crazy, childish graphical design, floating tears, and eyes that look like they're to the power of something. I hate those bits, but there is a very low amount of them. . .until volume 8. Now all of a sudden the girls do nothing but scream about stupid fucking nonsense, and everyone has at least two exclamation marks after each sentence, and those annoying fucking "fun" bits are more common.

As mentioned above, when I sit down to read, I tend to go through an entire volume in one sitting. But with volume 8, I've been reading two or four pages at a time over the past several weeks now. I really hope this changes with volume 9.

And this is why I should stick to Transformers, but the first seven volumes are good, damn it.

March 15, 2009 - 13:07 GMT - Benny

Meh, I could've said this five minutes ago when I was typing on that thing just below this thing. I finally watched Hancock the other night (Thursday, to be precise). When I saw the trailers for it when it was still new, I thought it looked pretty cool. But then I heard people saying it was far from as good as the trailers made it out to be. There was apparently too much talking and too little action. I disagree. I found it to be a pretty good movie. A lot of the stuff that usually annoys me when it comes to super heroes (their outfits, for example), they put a slight comedy twist on in this film, which was highly appreciated. And I am of course madly in love with Will Smith, which probably worked in the favour of the movie.

Which leads me on to that Puff Daddy blog video I saw a year or so ago (don't ask why), where he went on and on about Will Smith being "the first black super hero." I, myself, could go on and on about what a fucking idiots Puff Daddy (or is it P Diddy now?) is, and how he should do some fucking research before making himself look like the idiot he is. But eh. . .I'm guessing whoever is nerd enough to read this can fill in the blanks.

March 15, 2009 - 12:51 GMT - Benny

I know you're aching to know, so here is my Mega Man 9 progress:

0. I killed Splash Woman and called it a day. Then I picked it up against yesterday and gave Plug Man a try. Those disappearing blocks finally got me. I remember I was really good with them in Mega Man 2 when you have to fight that dragon after having defeated all the standard eight bosses, and the entire boss fight takes place on disappearing and reappearing blocks. Anyway, I did fairly well here but towards, what I assume is the end, I kept falling. And when I fell it was on one of the fairly easy bits, where I just had to make sure I jumped the maximum distance.

Anyway, after having failed twice on getting to Plug Man, I went to pay Magma Man a visit. I failed horribly there as well, getting knocked into the lava by one of the fire spitting flea like robot things. Then I gave up and decided I would play some F-Zero GX, but ended up not doing so for some reason.

Also, I figured out what the fucking dog does. I can use him for a trampoline. I yet haven't figured out what good it does, but eh. . .there you have it. Trampoline-dog.

March 13, 2009 - 19:16 GMT - Benny

So I justed kicked Galaxy Man's ass and went on to semi-randomly selecting the next target of my mega wrath when, to my horror, I discovered Splash Woman hiding away in the bottom right corner. What is this?! A female boss in a Mega Man game? As a consumer, video gamer, and, first and foremost, male, I find this unacceptable! Pharaoh Man from Mega Man 4 was bad enough, but this? Oh no, Capcom has gone too far.

It's not that I'm against beating up women--I am certainly not--it's just that I kind of suck at Mega Man and what little pride I have is tucked away in video games. This just means that I will have a woman repeatedly kicking my ass. And not just any woman, either, but Splash Woman. Her special ability is to step forcefully in a puddle and get the bottom of my pants (TROUSERS 4 U BRITS OUT THERE--TALKIN 2 U STACE) wet.

Also, I still haven't figured out what that dog does. I can change suit and summon him, but he just stands there looking stupid. I mean, sure, it's a fairly accurate simulation of what a real dog would do, but I would expect more from a Mega Man game. So if anyone knows what the hell the dog does, feel free to let me know.

Some time later:
I am pleased to say that I kicked her fish tailed ass. She did kill me twice before I got her, but the first time I started on half health so that hardly counts.

March 11, 2009 - 19:54 GMT - Benny

One of the things I miss about living in Sweden--besides, you know, not living in what seems to be a borderline third world country--is good punk music. I don't care what people say, British punk fucking sucks.

March 09, 2009 - 23:25 GMT - Benny

I just watched Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes. Yeah, yeah, so I'm eight years late, it's not like you're reading this anyway! One of the reasons I've never seen it before is that I thought it would be just like the old Planet of the Apes--which I've seen five or so times--so seeing a slightly prettier version of didn't really appeal to me. But I was horribly wrong. This was massively different--which I consider a good thing. Slightly fucked up end, but amusing in its own way. Overall, I must say I prefer the "new" over the Heston version.

March 08, 2009 - 01:17 GMT - Benny

It's fun to have the site up and running again. I'm actually strangely excited about it. So excited that I can't sleep and instead stayed up and created four new Hair episodes. However, as I've grown older, I've also grown wiser. I know for a fact that laziness can kick in at any time, which could very well result in the site dying for another five years again. So instead of giving in to my update urge, I will just hold on to these extra episodes and dish them out in small doses--say, one per day, or something like that.

If anything, it should give the five people visiting the site a semi-good reason to keep doing so over the next few days.

March 07, 2009 - 16:17 GMT - Benny

So I got Futurama: Bender's Game for my birthday roughly a month ago. I love Futurama and I love the movies, even though they don't really feel like movies. They are set up like a normal 21-minute episode would be, just extended, so it just feels like a dragged out episode and not at all like a movie. But that's also what makes it special--it doesn't follow the typical movie standard when it comes to climaxes and what not, it's just 83 minutes of nerd TV.

Anyway! Even though I've had it for about three to four weeks now, I hadn't watched the commentary until today. The nerdiness of it all makes me feel all warm inside. It reminded me of one of my CCG trips to Gothenburg a few years back. Usually I order all of my Vampire: The Eternal Darkness cards online, but twice I've done so IN THE FLESH. I always order from the same store (previously known as CardCollector.se) and after numerous relatively massive orders I think the store owner started knowing who I was (he at least made several comments about how little there had to be to do in Bålsta, where I lived at the time).

So, I made my way there in person for the first time and ended up spending roughly 600-700 US dollars on cards (although we obviously traded in the kick ass currency known as CROWNS) and spent some time talking to the guy, while he was digging out more boxes of cards to be able to cover my order, and mentioned where I was from and so on. At this point he started showing me around the store a bit, introducing me to some of his more high level items. One of these items is forever stuck in my head: A 150-dollar D10. It was fairly small--a lot smaller than the standard sized D10--but it was incredibly heavy for its size. It was made out of some typ of green-ish black rock and would fit perfectly into my old Vampire: The Masquerade dice set.

Due to the already vast amounts of money I had already spent (vast from a student's point of view, at least) that day, I ended up not buying the die, but damn if I haven't dreamed about it since then:

A character is down to a single chance die. This roll will determine the fate of the entire party of miss-matched, overly important neonates. That's when you pull out the 150-dollar die. Sure, they will most likely end up in a pile of ashes anyway--as they tend to do in my games--but it would be all the more special.

If only. . .

March 05, 2009 - 21:35 GMT - Benny

Stacey's been bitching a lot about how I spend too much time on the web site rework, so I tried getting her involved and commenting on it and stuff. You know, she could bring some female variety into the thinking. So she started giving me screenshot feedback. . .after about 1,000 of them had already been moved across from VGHaven, and tried forcing me into making sure none of the image captions went further than the width of the image itself. Fuck changing that! So I've decided she can keep on bitching and this web site will be completely free of "female variety."

March 05, 2009 - 19:35 GMT - Benny

Stacey claims she has perfected the art of cooking sausage rolls today. By sausage rolls, I mean the kinds you buy frozen in a bag and shove into the oven for 15 minutes. Apparently the trick to achieve perfection involves flipping them over. If you want to be a master chef some day, learn from Stacey.

"And I left them in longer! Longer than it said on the packet! No, don't quote it--then it looks like I'm paying attention to it and I'm part of it, when I'm not!"

Everything she says, she says with an exclamation mark.

Filler - Benny

I just need some text to fill this up, and then I can get back to moving over screenshots from VGHaven. I'm up to the Xs in the NES section now, so I'm almost done! Then I move over to SNES, etc., and then reviews. Reviews will be a bitch.
//Staff

Staff Comments of Awesomeness

August 4, 2011 - 07:25 BST - Nate

It's time to end this somewhat hiatus and start writing video game reviews for no one again. Funny that after all of these months of college and unemployment I start wasting time with video games and shitty reviews once I finally get a job.

Also, maybe I'll start reviewing games that have been released within the past six months for once thanks to my new disposable (heavy emphasis on this word) income. Maybe.

June 12, 2010 - 15:30 GMT - Benny

I got an urge to collect crap for my chao in Sonic Adventure 2 Battle. I had quite a lot of fun until I realised that I already had a chao with 99 in all stats. That took a bit of the fun away but I have another 16 chao I can level up. But now I'm in a mood to play Zelda instead.

May 31, 2010 - 15:53 GMT - Benny

I'm quite glad I went through with this The Green Shell idea. Combined with Hair, I've managed to build up a little backlog of updates that could last me at least a week. Although I have a feeling I'll put out a few of them at a time, which means I'll run out sooner. But yeah, while it's not necessarily easy to come up with shitty ideas for it, I have been looking around at a lot of random video game stuff over the last 12 hours and it's quite fun. I also need to play some more Star Ocean; I've got reptile aliens to kill and annoying girls to ignore! My hatred for Welch has gone down a lot since I got Lymle into my party. That annoying fuck pisses me off, 'kay.


Video of Awesomeness


Okay, so Finnish, but they sing in Swedish so it's alright.