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Under 18? Then leave. This site contains foul language and foul fake-opinions from foul people, and people under 18 die if they read those words and/or opinions.

Also, if you're easily offended, you do best in leaving, as well. It is all meant to be for fun, but you are still likely to be offended.

History

Ah, the history of Klimp.dk. It all began in 2000 when I was still a fucking nerd, but one that enjoyed everything revolving around hiphop. Actually, it didn't all begin then. Previously, I had been making video game sites hosted by ANGEL FIRE, but let's not talk about that. So yeah, hiphop nerd. I made a site called hhheaven.cjb.net (hip hop heaven) full of lyrics for various rap music and information about a variety of artists. It also contained blinking gifs, an embarrassment that pales next to the rest of the content.

Now that I was officially a professional web master, I had to seek out others of my kind, which took me to a forum for these rap type of people. Pathetically trying to fit in, I did what I assumed they did, talked how I assumed they talked, and so on. To my, and everyone else's, relief I eventually discovered it was very "cool" to do so, and several people on the site were just as nerdy as me. Actually, these two things didn't happen simultaneously, the latter happened first and vice versa. Anyway, this isn't a story about me, Marshall, or Comp, it's a little history of the site. So, let's move on. . .

Yeah, I now had some form of lonely Internet nerd ally in form of Marshall. This was early 2001. He had a web site about metal pants, with lots of MSPaint art on it. I found this to be much more attractive than the HHH crap I had going, so my site transformed into that of Klimp and this is where our pathetic online lives started entangling in form of Notepad script.

Klimp changed form into g00w, and then back, and then into g00w again, and so on. We had far too much spare time, and far too few things to do with it, so creating a massive amount of web sites is how it all came to be. Glown Melby showed up in at least 30 versions, there was g00w.com, Shrugames.com, OMGHair.com, VGHaven.com, and then eventually Klimp.dk. I wish I had screenshots of all the layouts we went through, but sadly (or fortunately?) I don't. But here are at least a few.


The, at the moment, second to last Klimp.dk layout. This one began as g00w.com and that Followers of Malkav tab originally linked to Shrugames.com, which was a site where Marshall and I put all of our RPG Maker 2000 stuff. This was probably the site that saw the most updates, and most of what you see on the site now was on it back then.


This was the way it used to look before the current layout. This was also the point at which I really started striving for an easy to maintain site without having to learn any database crap. Of course it took so long to get it ready that once that was done, I was bored of working on it and never got to take advantage of the "easy to maintain"-ability. Now watch as history repeats itself with this latest layout!


As far as graphical looks go, VGHaven from 2002 is my favourite. A shame it was a bitch to edit, it didn't work outside of IE, and the menus would explode if I put too much stuff into them. Still, it was my nicest looking site so far, and, as you can see, I have just moved several of the graphics straight over this one.


OMGHair.com. As you may already know, Hair is a horribly simple comic, where each episode takes roughly 5 minutes to draw in MSPaint. The site itself was meant to mimic that fact. It also had a fake collapsing episode menu, which in fact was a manually coded secondary index page. iframes was my way of keeping it easy to update. Horizontal menus always had their limits, though.


Actually, I lied before. My Followers of Malkav clan page was the first one where I aimed to make it easy to maintain--the previous Klimp.dk simply took that one step further. This is by far the site I have spent most time on over the years, since it was the site for my RuneScape clan from 2003 until 2008. Simple, but I like it.


Marshall put together this little thing, with graphics from TMNT IV. The characters even change into the active colours used in the game when you hover them, which I found orgasmically awesome. Nothing ever happened with it, though. The plan was that I would drag down my massive Turtles collection from the attic and dig out some old VHS stuff and video games and just cover it all in one massive Turtles site. That never happened, and now that I live far, far away from all of those old toys, it's even less likely to happen. It would be cool, though.


One of Marshall's half finished projects. It was meant to be a Klimp Network music site, far larger than the small music section we used to have in one of our older sites. I think he had that one bit of text about Thåström, and that was it.


I'm a nerd and I am goth, so an obvious thing for me to do is a site about vampires. Elysium was meant to be it. A place where I could talk about White-Wolf stuff, bitch about TV shows and movie, talk about books, and transfer text from my various vampire books onto the 'Net. It never happened, but the layout is quite nice I think, even if it is a bit smudgy.

//Benny


Staff Comments of Awesomeness

August 4, 2011 - 07:25 BST - Nate

It's time to end this somewhat hiatus and start writing video game reviews for no one again. Funny that after all of these months of college and unemployment I start wasting time with video games and shitty reviews once I finally get a job.

Also, maybe I'll start reviewing games that have been released within the past six months for once thanks to my new disposable (heavy emphasis on this word) income. Maybe.

June 12, 2010 - 15:30 GMT - Benny

I got an urge to collect crap for my chao in Sonic Adventure 2 Battle. I had quite a lot of fun until I realised that I already had a chao with 99 in all stats. That took a bit of the fun away but I have another 16 chao I can level up. But now I'm in a mood to play Zelda instead.

May 31, 2010 - 15:53 GMT - Benny

I'm quite glad I went through with this The Green Shell idea. Combined with Hair, I've managed to build up a little backlog of updates that could last me at least a week. Although I have a feeling I'll put out a few of them at a time, which means I'll run out sooner. But yeah, while it's not necessarily easy to come up with shitty ideas for it, I have been looking around at a lot of random video game stuff over the last 12 hours and it's quite fun. I also need to play some more Star Ocean; I've got reptile aliens to kill and annoying girls to ignore! My hatred for Welch has gone down a lot since I got Lymle into my party. That annoying fuck pisses me off, 'kay.


Video of Awesomeness


Okay, so Finnish, but they sing in Swedish so it's alright.