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An American Tour of the World - Part I
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It's time to take a trip around the world, American style! And whatever the style would be called if it's not an actual trip, but instead some text about the world, yeah, that style, too. American style and that other style. Speaking of Style, that's a stupid TV channel . . . Style. It's all about makeup and interior decoration and food and crafts and all of that stupid stuff. And fashion. And rich people. I wish I were rich so I could have a show on Style. [sad]
So anyway . . . Let's start close to home (Home being America, the center of the world, culturally and geographically [Scientific studies done in America have proven it to be the "center" of the earth's crust]) with our neighbor to the north, Canada! After that we head back over the States and south, visiting our hispanic friends in their natural habitat. Once we read South America's tip, we cross the sea into southern Africa, go north into Europe, and finally we reach Asia and back to America. Hooray! Prepare for your informative tour around the globe with me, Marshall Cleveland, a resident of Virginia!!
Canada
What's in Canada, you ask? Snow, Eskimos, and the French. Not much is known about Canada, since nobody really goes there due to the constant blizzards and wolf-attacks and also the Eskimos. Alaska is also in Canada, and nobody considers it part of the US of A because it's so far away and it has Eskimos. Hawaii is also far away but it has no Eskimos, just Hawaiians (aka Kiwis). Canada has given the world many good things. For instance, Celine Dion, Toronto, Alanis Mmorrissette, Marshall "Slim Shady" Mathers, and other fine musicians, have come from Canada.
Vacation to Canada?: Only if you like snow and Eskimos; Otherwise, no.
Mexico
Mexico is filthy and if you drink the water you die! No wonder so many Mexicans come to America. They're probably thirsty, and they probably like America a lot, too! We can drink our water. Anyway Mexico is basically all city, and dirty, and there are lots of Mexicans there. Maybe America could purchase Mexico from their King, Pedro King (In the Spanish language, they put the adjective after the word, so instead of a "brown dog," you'd have a "dog brown." I don't know the word for brown but the word for dog is perro! Maybe café is brown. Or coffee.), and then those Mexicans will live in a better society. Anyway, Mexico has some states in it that go all the way down to South America, like El Salvador, Porto Rico, and Venezuela to name a few. They also have economic troubles but they have party spots for Spring Break that bring up their economic troubles (Cancun Mexico is one of those hot spots).
Vacation to Mexico?: If you do decide to go down there, bring some bottled water. But watch out, the people are needy and might steal your water. Maybe you could share the water with them because they don't have water to drink. The best time to go to Mexico is on Spring Break and I think MTV was at Spring Break Mexico a few years back, too!
South America
South America is the nickname for the place below Mexico because it is south of America. It's a continent instead of a country, and I'll only be doing a general description of it. A few South American countries are: Columbia (named after Columbus because that's where his home was I guess), Brazil, Argentina, Chile, and Amazon. Columbia is world famous for cocaine and other drugs, as well as Columbia's wild underground club scene. There is a big jungle and river called the Amazon in Brazil, and it is being cut down at an alarming rate. We need to save the rainforest, and I think that South America should be the first to support that cause.
Economically and culturally speaking, South America is just like the Mexican states. They speak the Spanish language and struggle with financial hardships constantly. And political unrest.
Vacation to South America?: The only reasons I could see for going to South America would be to help the rainforest in Brazil and maybe to buy drugs if that's what you're into (NOTE: I don't do drugs or buy drugs!!)
Africa
Africa is divided into two countries. There's Africa, which is huge and includes many famous geographic features. The Sahara desert, Lake Victoria, and the Parting of the Red Sea. Africa also has gold and diamond mines, yet they are still the world's poorest country.
And then there's Ethiopia, which is well-known for it's poverty and starving children being helped by the Christians.
Vacation to Africa?: Plain and simple, no.
Join me next time for Part II!
In part II, We'll go to Europe and see all the sights and sounds of some of the European countries. And then we'll see the different regions of Asia, and if we have enough time Australia!
//Marshall
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Staff Comments of Awesomeness
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August 4, 2011 - 07:25 BST - Nate
It's time to end this somewhat hiatus and start writing video game reviews for no one again. Funny that after all of these months of college and unemployment I start wasting time with video games and shitty reviews once I finally get a job.
Also, maybe I'll start reviewing games that have been released within the past six months for once thanks to my new disposable (heavy emphasis on this word) income. Maybe.
June 12, 2010 - 15:30 GMT - Benny
I got an urge to collect crap for my chao in Sonic Adventure 2 Battle. I had quite a lot of fun until I realised that I already had a chao with 99 in all stats. That took a bit of the fun away but I have another 16 chao I can level up. But now I'm in a mood to play Zelda instead.May 31, 2010 - 15:53 GMT - Benny
I'm quite glad I went through with this The Green Shell idea. Combined with Hair, I've managed to build up a little backlog of updates that could last me at least a week. Although I have a feeling I'll put out a few of them at a time, which means I'll run out sooner. But yeah, while it's not necessarily easy to come up with shitty ideas for it, I have been looking around at a lot of random video game stuff over the last 12 hours and it's quite fun. I also need to play some more Star Ocean; I've got reptile aliens to kill and annoying girls to ignore! My hatred for Welch has gone down a lot since I got Lymle into my party. That annoying fuck pisses me off, 'kay.
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