| If they could be successful, the American team's success would be based on pure chance. It is a team of five strangers of varying weights and national background, only some of whom who can play hockey. Racial tension is strong in the group, which makes them a volatile bunch of inexperienced young men. |
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Mario Sanchez |
| Mario es de Monterrey, Mexico, er... sorry. Mario's from Monterrey, Mexico and, like Magnús, also never practices. The thing is, Mario sucks at hockey, as all Mexicans do at everything, right? Mario smells pretty badly, though, and puts up a pretty good fight -- he's as loyal to his teammates as a Latina girlfriend is to you when a couple guys want to kick your ass. |
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Benjamin John Peczek |
| Joakim comes from the future and came back to the past to play hockey in this tournament. He is the offspring of Benny Peczek and and Rosalita Perez, who met, fell in love, and married in So-Cal, USA. His skill with the puck is unmatched across the world, likely due to his Swedish and Mexican supergenes. Odorous and angry on one side and skilled with the puck on the other, B.J., as he's friends call he, is a very important assett to the Americans. |
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Tyrone Johnson |
| Found wandering on Juliet in Detroit, MI, Tyrone is a valuable asset to the team. Don't be fooled by the name -- Tyrone is as white as they come, and from Hockeytown, too! With a tantrum easily fueled due to his minority in upbringing, Tyrone really gets pissed off and that is what gives him his violent style of hockeyin'. His one wish is that, quote, "those dark ass mother fuckin African motherfuckers had a fuckin hockey team so he could motherfuckin kick their motherfuckin asses." |
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Captain |
| Captain was found in a bar in New York City. The United States government forced him into this tournament after he killed a man in a bar-brawl that erupted over a misuse of the word "tuna." He was to be jailed, but the ultimate team still needed to be assembled to make America Hockeycountry, so he is serving time on the team. Nobody knows if he can play hockey, but we will find out soon enough. |
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Magnús Gandalfsson |
| Magnús hails from Keflavík, Iceland and was drafted into the team beyond his control. He spends his time listening to Icelandic electropop like Technotæfa and Spur Pópunar and never practices his skill as a goalie. He's like those nerds that are born to be chess masters and never have to practice -- they're meant to be nerds. And Magnús is meant to be a wizardly goalie. And probably a faggot ass motherfucker, too. But he hides that. |
| Current Manager: Gary |