
2000-2012 ©© Benny Peczek Some Rights Reserved, etc.	Last Updated: 030212 \| 07:39 GMT

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Under 18? Then leave. This site contains foul language and foul fake-opinions from foul people, and people under 18 die if they read those words and/or opinions.

Also, if you're easily offended, you do best in leaving, as well. It is all meant to be for fun, but you are still likely to be offended.

The Doctor

So I went to the doctor a few days ago.

I said Doctor, you gotta help me man. I got this pain deep down and it hurts me.

He says to take some p-p-pills, so I do. I do as he says.

Next day I go back.

Doctor, I say, you gotta help me man. I got this pain deep down and it hurts me.

He says he knows. He says to take some other pi-i-ills, so I do. I do as he says.

Next day, same stuff, I go back.

Doctor you gotta help me man! I got this pain deep down and it hurts me. That's what I say.

He says I got two and a half days to live.

What the hell is w-w-w-wrong with me, doctor!

Aside from the fact you got two and a half days to live, nothing.

Doctor you gotta help me, I got two and a half days to live!

He kicks me out of his office and onto the street.

I see a pretty young girl, walk up to her and say, hey honey, I've got two and a half days to live, care to make it worth your while?

She punch me in the crotch.

I goes back to the doctor the next day.

Doctor I got a day and a half to live!

His security guards escort me out the building.

I'm on the streets, see the same girl.

Again she punched me in the crotch.

You're face to face with the man who sold the world.

And then she comes back, punch me in the crotch again!

What a fucking bitch.

A day and a half later, I'm still alive.

Doctor, this is wonderful, I'm alive.

He pulls out a pistol and shoots me in the forehead.

He was right.

He was also extremely boring and stupid and he paid his teenage daughter to punch my crotch.

And to think, he paid his girl to punch a dead man's crotch!

What was the world coming to?

//Marshall

Staff Comments of Awesomeness

August 4, 2011 - 07:25 BST - Nate

It's time to end this somewhat hiatus and start writing video game reviews for no one again. Funny that after all of these months of college and unemployment I start wasting time with video games and shitty reviews once I finally get a job.

Also, maybe I'll start reviewing games that have been released within the past six months for once thanks to my new disposable (heavy emphasis on this word) income. Maybe.

June 12, 2010 - 15:30 GMT - Benny

I got an urge to collect crap for my chao in Sonic Adventure 2 Battle. I had quite a lot of fun until I realised that I already had a chao with 99 in all stats. That took a bit of the fun away but I have another 16 chao I can level up. But now I'm in a mood to play Zelda instead.

May 31, 2010 - 15:53 GMT - Benny

I'm quite glad I went through with this The Green Shell idea. Combined with Hair, I've managed to build up a little backlog of updates that could last me at least a week. Although I have a feeling I'll put out a few of them at a time, which means I'll run out sooner. But yeah, while it's not necessarily easy to come up with shitty ideas for it, I have been looking around at a lot of random video game stuff over the last 12 hours and it's quite fun. I also need to play some more Star Ocean; I've got reptile aliens to kill and annoying girls to ignore! My hatred for Welch has gone down a lot since I got Lymle into my party. That annoying fuck pisses me off, 'kay.

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Video of Awesomeness

Okay, so Finnish, but they sing in Swedish so it's alright.