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Updates:
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XBox Satellites
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Before the release of the XBox, about a year ago, Microsoft seemed to enjoy to describe the XBox's power as strong enough to control a satellite. But 99 per cent of the gamers in the world had no idea what kind of power was needed to do so, and none of them had anything close to an idea of how this was going to make them happier. But now Microsoft has answered all of their questions.
In February, 2003, Microsoft will release their second biggest (not size-wise) XBox product ever (almost as big as their malfunctioning online-features), the Satellite control-station. The station consists of a DVD and a tiny parabolic antenna. The DVD is as big as any other DVDs and the parabolic antenna is about 4 feet high (not much bigger than the XBox!) and weighing 200 lbs.
The satellite station, or MS Satellite Station as Microsoft prefers to call it, is described as a multiplayer game where players from all over the world can take control over a satellite and try to kill all other satellites with it. There will also be a web site, filled with errors, to show rankings and such. But the point-system is a bit messed up at the moment due to fact that satellite owners refuse to install XBox-chips in their satellites to keep count of how many other satellites it has crashed into. But Microsoft plans on solving this problem by adding a big side-station to the XBox that has no function but to increase the size of the console with 300 per cent.
The controls in MS Satellite Station are quite simples, and here is a picture to describe them:
As you see, this game is quite simple to learn how to control, and as an extra feature you will be able to add your own "naked girl" or "girl in bikin" logo to the satellites using a program that has not been tested yet. The negative thing about the naked girls is that it puts an age-limit on the game, so no one under seven years old is allowed to buy it.
MS Satellite Station will be released in America and Japan during February, 2003, and will be available in Europe around October, 2034.
//Benny
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Staff Comments of Awesomeness
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August 4, 2011 - 07:25 BST - Nate
It's time to end this somewhat hiatus and start writing video game reviews for no one again. Funny that after all of these months of college and unemployment I start wasting time with video games and shitty reviews once I finally get a job.
Also, maybe I'll start reviewing games that have been released within the past six months for once thanks to my new disposable (heavy emphasis on this word) income. Maybe.
June 12, 2010 - 15:30 GMT - Benny
I got an urge to collect crap for my chao in Sonic Adventure 2 Battle. I had quite a lot of fun until I realised that I already had a chao with 99 in all stats. That took a bit of the fun away but I have another 16 chao I can level up. But now I'm in a mood to play Zelda instead.May 31, 2010 - 15:53 GMT - Benny
I'm quite glad I went through with this The Green Shell idea. Combined with Hair, I've managed to build up a little backlog of updates that could last me at least a week. Although I have a feeling I'll put out a few of them at a time, which means I'll run out sooner. But yeah, while it's not necessarily easy to come up with shitty ideas for it, I have been looking around at a lot of random video game stuff over the last 12 hours and it's quite fun. I also need to play some more Star Ocean; I've got reptile aliens to kill and annoying girls to ignore! My hatred for Welch has gone down a lot since I got Lymle into my party. That annoying fuck pisses me off, 'kay.
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