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Updates:
Saturdays
Updates:
Whenever
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City Connection
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1988 SunSoft - SunSoft - NES
I used to think this game was called "JALECO" because that's what the top of the cart says.
Move over, Grand Theft Auto! Here comes (Or came, considering that this game came out long before GTA. But I bet you didn't even know that, did you? DID YOU?!) City Connection! Paint the city streets white and throw oil cans at coppers! And hit cats. Can't forget the cats.
Graphics
They don't make me want to dig away at my eyes with a fork, and that's enough for me. The cats are ugly and the backgrounds are boring.
Sounds
I can't remember any music past the title screen right now, which is bad considering that I was playing this game this morning before school. Oh wait, maybe I remember, kind of. Nothing special. Maybe it's average . . . Maybe.
As for sound effects, who cares? Nothing too annoying.
Ok, now that I've played the game a bit more since then (Then being an hour ago . . . ), I can say that I remember some of the music and that it's good. High pitched and maybe annoying, but I still like it. YES!
Controls
One button jumps, one button fires oil cans. Nothing too complicated there. Except for when you want to jump up a level . . . that involves pressing the jump button and up on the D-pad! Better practice your hand motions, or else this game will be a bit difficult! Wow!
Gameplay
You drive around famous cities (Which consist of well-known monuments and towers in the background and a bunch of little platforms floating in the sky) painting the streets white with your little red station wagon. You throw oil cans at the millions of cop cars (and only cop cars) in the city, and then you hit some cats and curse at the screen.
The screen scrolls automatically, but you can control in which direction. You don't have to, though, if you keep going right you'll end up where you started. So uhh, shut up. You jump around on pretty big platforms with little blocks on them, but then after you drive over a block it turns white. The goal is to whiten all of the blocks. But there are cop cars. Lots of cop cars. BUT THAT'S OK! Shoot an oil can at them, and they'll start spinning. Then you ram into them and they go flying. Hooray!
Cats are a different story. They show up anytime you get a pattern going or anytime you think "I'll have to jump up right when I get to [location]." You'll die from hitting cats more often than any other forms of dying (Touching the moving cop cars, hitting the extremely rare road-block things. THAT'S A LOT OF WAYS OF DYENING!!1). For some reason when you hit the cats in this game your car blows up (into a few little hearts, no less), and the cat goes flying, playing an annoying little tune on the way. Bastard cat.
You start out in New York city. After that you go to London, then Paris, then someplace in Germany or something (At least my sister said it was Germany, but she was a lying little NES whore!), and then Japan. THEN, you're back in New York but it's more difficult and I guess it keeps going through the cities again. Maybe I'm missing a city . . . WHO CAREZZ???/
Balloons are good but rare. Collecting three will warp you ahead a few levels. I think there's a little spaceship that flies by up top once every 500 times you play the game. I don't remember what it does or if it even exists, though.
Originality
I've never played any other game like this before, as far as I know. Haha. Shut up.
Overall
Kind of nice if you're looking for a quick game to play. Sex.
Screenshots
//Marshall
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Staff Comments of Awesomeness
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August 4, 2011 - 07:25 BST - Nate
It's time to end this somewhat hiatus and start writing video game reviews for no one again. Funny that after all of these months of college and unemployment I start wasting time with video games and shitty reviews once I finally get a job.
Also, maybe I'll start reviewing games that have been released within the past six months for once thanks to my new disposable (heavy emphasis on this word) income. Maybe.
June 12, 2010 - 15:30 GMT - Benny
I got an urge to collect crap for my chao in Sonic Adventure 2 Battle. I had quite a lot of fun until I realised that I already had a chao with 99 in all stats. That took a bit of the fun away but I have another 16 chao I can level up. But now I'm in a mood to play Zelda instead.May 31, 2010 - 15:53 GMT - Benny
I'm quite glad I went through with this The Green Shell idea. Combined with Hair, I've managed to build up a little backlog of updates that could last me at least a week. Although I have a feeling I'll put out a few of them at a time, which means I'll run out sooner. But yeah, while it's not necessarily easy to come up with shitty ideas for it, I have been looking around at a lot of random video game stuff over the last 12 hours and it's quite fun. I also need to play some more Star Ocean; I've got reptile aliens to kill and annoying girls to ignore! My hatred for Welch has gone down a lot since I got Lymle into my party. That annoying fuck pisses me off, 'kay.
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