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Muppet Adventure: Chaos at the Carnival
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1990 Mind's Eye - Hi-Tech - NES
Jim Henson's Muppet Adventure: Chaos at the Carnival is one of those games that you can let Jay Sherman sum up in two words. "It Stinks!" Indeed it does, Mr. Sherman. Indeed it does.
Ok, screw it, here we go . . . And this game sucks.
Graphics
Not bad, I guess . . . Oh, who am I kidding? Much like the rest of this game, the graphics suck.
Music
Annoying. And it's not annoying because the NES's sound abilities were limited . . . Because look at Ninja Gaiden. Look at it! Good music. Now look at Jim Henson's Muppet Adventure: Chaos at the Carnival. Look at it! Shitty music.
When you first turn on the game, it seems like there's a song that's already been playing for a while . . . turning on the NES brings you to the middle of a song . . . Hmmm . . .
Congratulations, people working the music on this game, you suck!
Story
Unlike a lot of other people, the "rescue the princess/girlfriend" plots that are present in 50% of games don't bother me . . . Normally. When that princess/girlfriend is a bitchy pig, though, it's different.
Miss Piggy has been kidnapped and is being held captive at some carnival, or something, and Kermit has to rescue her, and whatnot. "It Stinks!"
Gameplay
You start the game at a menu where you choose four different options. There's a river course, a go-kart race, a space level, and the "AMAZING MAZE." I wonder how long it took them to think up that last one! Amazing maze. Get it? a-MAZE-ing, maze! Genious! Anyway, you get a key at the end of each course, and then when you have four keys you go into the last level.
Here's how it goes . . .
River Thing: You play as Kermit on a little boat or something, and you go down a river (Vertical scrolling). Annoying whirlpool things toss you into walls and logs and stuff. I don't remember too much, haven't played the river thing in a long time, and rarely ever did uhh . . . ever.
Go-Kart Thing: You play as a dog or something (I know my muppets!) in a go-kart and you drive around (Horizontal scrolling) dodging bombs and oil slicks and rubber bands that slide across the road. You can pick up little flags for points, but eh . . . what difference does it make?
Space Thing: Little spaceship that can't be controlled well and it can shoot in 8 directions. Another horizontal scrolling level, only in this one things shoot at you a lot and you die.
Maze Thing: Christ, this is boring. You go through probably 50 "maze" screens picking up items and trying not to let these mice things touch you. That's not a maze, anyway. Annoying music that plays throughout the entire thing, and uhh . . . Hey!
Final Level: I got to the final level once, and I'll never get to it again. That I promise. You control Kermit again, only this time it's like a sidescrolling platformer, only a lot worse. I think there are bats and flying knives and pits that are hard to jump over, but it's been a few years since I managed to get there (I must have been really fucking bored). I forget what the boss is like, but I remember beating him.
Control
"It Stinks," need we say more?
Replayability
You probably won't even be able to play through the game ONCE, and if you did you'd be sure not to replay it.
Overall
I got this game from a friend who was moving away. First time I'd been in his house, and I wanted to play the NES. All I remember that he had was this and the Little Mermaid. He let me borrow Muppet Adventure (he didn't want to play anything at the time) and he never got it back before he moved. I can see why he didn't. Damn you for leaving this game to me! Damn you, Joey, damn you!
Hell, I should have borrowed the Little Mermaid instead. That had to have been better than THIS.
I'd advise you to never download the ROM, and if you see a copy of the game in FuncoLand, DESTROY IT.
Not the worst game ever, but it's still terrible. TERRIBLE!
//Marshall
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Staff Comments of Awesomeness
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August 4, 2011 - 07:25 BST - Nate
It's time to end this somewhat hiatus and start writing video game reviews for no one again. Funny that after all of these months of college and unemployment I start wasting time with video games and shitty reviews once I finally get a job.
Also, maybe I'll start reviewing games that have been released within the past six months for once thanks to my new disposable (heavy emphasis on this word) income. Maybe.
June 12, 2010 - 15:30 GMT - Benny
I got an urge to collect crap for my chao in Sonic Adventure 2 Battle. I had quite a lot of fun until I realised that I already had a chao with 99 in all stats. That took a bit of the fun away but I have another 16 chao I can level up. But now I'm in a mood to play Zelda instead.May 31, 2010 - 15:53 GMT - Benny
I'm quite glad I went through with this The Green Shell idea. Combined with Hair, I've managed to build up a little backlog of updates that could last me at least a week. Although I have a feeling I'll put out a few of them at a time, which means I'll run out sooner. But yeah, while it's not necessarily easy to come up with shitty ideas for it, I have been looking around at a lot of random video game stuff over the last 12 hours and it's quite fun. I also need to play some more Star Ocean; I've got reptile aliens to kill and annoying girls to ignore! My hatred for Welch has gone down a lot since I got Lymle into my party. That annoying fuck pisses me off, 'kay.
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